Half and Half

RED OR BLUE? Books or movies? The beach or the mountains? We tend to think in ways that make us believe that our choices come down to either/or, good/bad, right or wrong. It’s easier to make a choice when it comes down to a couple of things.  So are you “the glass is half empty” type of person, or are you “the glass is half full” mindset?

WHAT’S TRUE? Until I saw this graphic (via Volunteer’s Weekly )that created an “Oh my gosh” moment for me, I was definitely in “the glass is half full” camp. To have that point of view, in my opinion, made everything in my life better, because to have the “half-empty” point of view just made things worse. I had noticed that when I suffered, when I felt poor, when I felt like there wasn’t enough, and when I felt frustrated and alone that mindset only added fuel to the fire.

DON’T GET ME WRONG

I don’t operate 24/7 with an abundant (half-full) mindset. Although, I wonder what my life would be like if I could. When things spiral out of control, when someone disappoints me, when I mess up, I don’t feel all that great. In those moments,  I do forget all the people, experiences and things that make my life beautiful and amazing. I definitely focus on “the glass is half empty” and that just sucks.

But what is so great about being a human being is that you and I hold the power in our our minds to change any circumstance that we dislike.

 

HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? 

Before you answer, I want to share with you why this came up in the first place. I am currently in California helping out my mom who has a serious illness. It is important to me to be with her and to help her as much as I can before she passes away. However, that decision (made freely and which makes me feel good) comes with a few downsides. One of the majors is that my time is no longer my own. Doctor’s appointments, phone calls, driving, cooking, grocery shopping et al can consume entire days and leave me feeling exhausted, and well, poor – poor in time, poor in spirit, poor in relationships… poor, poor, poor me!

How in the heck did I set things up so I could suffer? What originally had made me feel awesome, started to suck the chi right out of me. Do you know what I mean? I wanted this, and now, well, it wasn’t what I had expected. Has that ever happened to you?

YOU MAKE THE RULES

It is hard to admit, but there is a lot more in my control than I would like to admit at times. So I had to look at my mindset and see what the heck was going on with me. That’s when I realized that I could turn this around and set up my rules to win.

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If you want to set up the rules to win in your life, I have created a free resource that asks you some key clarifying questions that will help you to do just that

Click here to GET ACCESS

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HOW I GOT IT BACK

One of the great things that can happen when you commit to doing something like putting on a Facebook Live every week is that it forces you to come up with content – even when you don’t feel like it.

5 GREAT IDEAS TO MAKE YOU FEEL RICH

This was born out of my need to change something. I needed something to help me get back into a rich mindset. A mindset that looked at life from a half-full perspective, and I had to do it without spending a lot of money, nor taking a lot of time that I just didn’t have. Here they are:

  1. Rich in Body – Lock the bathroom door and take a bath. No distractions. After your bath, close your bedroom door and stretch slowly and easily. Finally, finish with a 5 minute breathing meditation to energize you.  This protocol feels amazing.
  2. Rich in Relationships – Find something you like and appreciate about every person you come in contact with for the day. You will be amazed not only how connected you feel, but how much love comes back to you.
  3. Rich in Spirit – Make a list of every person, place, thing, and even your body that you benefit from AND that you had nothing to do with. When you hit item 50, you will realize just how abundant and blessed your life is.
  4. Rich in Home – De-clutter an area in your home. Decide whether you want to sell the items or give them away. Either way, the space you create makes you feel rich. If you can sell or give things away, you have more than many people out there.
  5. Rich in Time – Take just an hour (before the day starts or at day end) and commit to that time being yours. You make the rules, and you get to have it ALL your way.  When you give yourself this type of freedom, you feel rich.

What I figured out was that the formula for feeling rich is really simple:

RICH = TO DO WHAT YOU WANT+ WITH WHOM YOU WANT + TO BE WHO YOU WANT+ TO HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT….AND

to do what you want gives you a certain feeling

with whom you want gives you a certain feeing

to be who you want gives you a certain feeling

to have whatever you want gives you a certain feeling … so

RICH = THE FEELINGS YOU WANT TO HAVE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE

Guess what? That is definitely in your control and you can set up the rules that make you feel what you want to feel more often.

You can watch the video here to learn about these ideas as well. #WhiteboardWednesdays

HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

Is a choice. While this graphic says, “the glass is always full” what it doesn’t say that screams out to me is that the 1/2 air represents the most important part of the glass: OPPORTUNITY! Opportunity to make your life so much fuller and richer, and as you fill your life up with more love, light and joy, your cup will runneth other. Half- empty is not empty at all. Half-empty is possibility!

As always with these posts, my intention is to share the top tips and tools that make my life and my client’s lives better. My hope is that this post has done that for you.

Please feel free to leave a comment, and share your stories and your tips for making yourself feel richer with little or no money below.

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the show. #WhiteboardWednesdays

Until next time,

Remember, you are so much more than who you believe yourself to be

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How To Get Better At Anything

Paradiddles.  Doesn’t it sound kind of like a dance move?  So when my drum teacher asked me to play them, I thought, “No problem,” because he had already showed me how that drumbeat : RLRR, LRLL and so on, (R – right drum stick, L – left drum stick) could be mastered by just going slow and building my speed up over time. AND it did go well, until he told me to head on over to the drum set where he then asked me to add the bass drum, and cymbals in addition to the snare drum! WHAT?? That was OTT (means over the top in music speak) and way too much.

But then, he did a funny thing, he had me break down  the sticking into each component part (My left foot, my right foot, my left hand and my right hand.) It felt like I was trying to fly a helicopter on the ground! After he showed me how to do that,  he had me slow it down, and when I could do that, he had me work on smoothing out my playing. What seemed like an impossible task in the beginning turned into a framework that showed me how I could eventually master this skill. Way cool!

What I didn’t know was the method he used was similar to the method outlined in the book “The Talent Code” by Daniel Coyle.  According to Coyle, top performers have talent, but a large part of what sets them apart is their incredible work ethic, AND the use of this concept called Deep Practice. (You can click the picture for more information about the book)

But before we get to the outline of how you can follow six easy steps to jump start your skill development, there are some basic concepts you have to grasp first.

The Simple Facts About Our Biology:

  1. “Every human movement, thought, or feeling is a precisely timed electric signal traveling through a chain of neurons — a circuit of nerve fibers.
  2. Myelin is the insulation that wraps these nerve fibers and increases signal strength, speed, and accuracy.
  3. The more we fire a particular circuit, the more myelin optimizes that circuit, and the stronger, faster, and more fluent our movements and thoughts become.”

Are you starting to see why practice is so so important?

Two More Fun Facts:

  1. “All actions are the result of electrical impulses sent along chains of nerve fibers.
  2. The more we develop a skill circuit, the less we’re aware that we’re using it… We’re built to make skills automatic, to stash them in our unconscious mind.”

Now does it make sense why pesky habits are so hard to get rid of?

The point of this brief lesson in neurology is to make the simple but deadly point that skill = biology = myelin development.

So what does all of that have to do with deep practice? Deep practice develops myelin in a way that makes you become really good at what you do. You become stronger, faster and more fluent in your movements.

And what is so great about that is that you can learn deep practice, too!

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Speaking of developing a practice that works for you, I have a tool  that will help you get started creating the life you want to live on your own terms. It’s a free resource that asks you some key clarifying questions that helped me and my clients to do just that!

Click here to GET ACCESS

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Losing it. Heard that saying, “If you don’t use it, you lose it?!” Well it’s based on the concept mentioned above that if you don’t fire the circuits of a particular activity, thought, or feeling, the myelin starts to break down around that circuit, and as a consequence, makes it weaker and weaker until it will not fire well, anymore. Want to get rid of a habit, stop doing it, and just wait. Eventually, the desire to do it disappears. Conversely, if you want to keep a skill and improve on it, daily practice is the key, and deep practice is THE BOMB.

Speaking of practice. I just did a Facebook Live, yesterday, on this very topic, where I not only illustrate the six steps of Deep Practice below, but also started to build consistency in my practice of speaking live. You can find it here: Facebook Live Practice #2

Here is a brief summary of the steps that help you learn a skill faster, better and with more accuracy.

Six Steps to Deep Practice

  1. Get a big picture overview
  2. Break it down to the smallest blocks of information (chunks) that can be easily mastered
  3. Slow it down to the speed that can be easily mastered
  4. Get it down through repetition (Turn inward and identify what it feels like when you do it right, and wrong)
  5.  Build it back up, and then
  6. Slowly increase speed

Once you get used to practicing these six steps, any skill you want to learn will become a lot easier to master, and if you do the work, your steps to mastery will be faster, too!

Practice makes progress, or like Coyle likes to say, “Practice makes myelin.” And with daily practice, myelin makes you a bad ass drummer and Facebook Live presenter . 🙂

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this summary of Coyle’s book.  It really is worth your time to learn, in detail, how to use deep practice in your life. Here is the link to my latest Facebook Live Show, again. #WhiteboardWednesdays

Until next time,

Until next time, remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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Public vs. Private Evolution

Oh my gosh! So yeah, I was talking to my Coach on Tuesday about our upcoming trip to California to take care of my mom when he throws out the challenge bomb! Here I was all content to let things just be when he tests me, challenges me, or how he likes to say, “I am merely asking you a question?!!” Darn … and I thought I was inches away from a clean get away … a getaway to stay small, quiet and unseen until I have – you guessed it – evolved into the perfect version of myself as a successful life coach. Darn, darn, darn.

Yep. Now I had to answer the challenge, because of how he explained it to me. Don’t you hate it when someone, usually smarter than how you feel at that particular moment, says the right thing in the right way that makes you feel like you HAVE to face your fears head on?  I couldn’t say no after he explained it to me.

Here’s how it went down:

J: You need to do a Facebook Live every week. You’re great on video and I think you have a lot to say, AND I think you could say it without taking a lot of time to prepare. In fact, I think you should just do it.

Scared sh–less me: Thank you for saying that. I’m not ready. I can’t just Do it? I need to prepare. I don’t know what I will say. I just … I don’t know…

J: (Going in for the hook) You know, Christine, people like to evolve in private. You know what I mean?

Curious me: Huh? What do you mean “Evolve in private?”

J: What I mean is that they want to go into a room, in the dark, and perfect everything, and then come out of their room and share.

Me: Yes. Exactly. I want it perfect before I share.

J: (Going in for the kill) Yeah, but Christine, don’t you think people who need help need to see the evolution? Don’t you think where you are at right now will help somebody???

Nailed Me: (He got me.) Okay, fine. I’ll do it

We chat for a little bit more and then he goes for the jugular:

J: Hey, I think you should just talk. Don’t prepare. Just think about it a little, maybe make some bullet points, but don’t prepare like you usually do.

Me: Crap.

Facebook Live – For Real~ The link below is to my facebook live that I christened #Whiteboard Wednesdays!! It turned out to be a lot of fun, and while I did have a little glitch here or there, I was proud of my effort, and amazed that when I decided and committed to this project, my results made me feel like so excited about what the next day would bring just like I felt when I was a young girl and hit a home run on the practice field. (Back then, girls were not allowed to play Little League Baseball.)

Face that Fear. Who knew that by facing this type of fear, I could feel so good about sharing my life lessons with an audience. My coach was right, public evolution does have its benefits in not only helping others, but also in helping myself. And with that,  another fear has bitten the dust! Here is the link to that seminal facebook live spot:

I was challenged. I accepted. I conquered!

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Speaking of facing fears and designing a life that works for you, if you would like a tool  that will help you get started  living your life on your own terms, you can click below. It’s a free resource that asks you some key questions that helped me and my clients.

Click to GET ACCESS

 

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Free Worksheet, which you can click to save the picture and then print it out, was part of what I talked about yesterday. We all have a “Code” with which we live by. But what some of us may not know is that we can change it. A code has three parts: A rule that says: If ___________________ then that will make feel _______________________, and when I feel that, I will do ______________________. So if you just change your rule, you can pretty much change what you do. Why not make your code be the code of your life? What you stand for, what you believe in, and who you are when you are your best self? What would it feel like if you could show up as your best self regardless of circumstance? I want that skill for you!

Well, that’s it for me. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the show. There is a lot of actionable wisdom in that 7 minute video and if I can face my fears, you can, too!

#WhiteboardWednesdays

Until next time, remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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The Entrepreneur’s 3Rs: Reading, Reflection, and Resourcefulness

In school we learned the 3 R’s: Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. These rules helped generations of learners gain valuable skills that they use every single day. However, super successful entrepreneurs like Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Oprah Winfrey use an amped up version of the 3R’s that give them the results in business and in their personal lives. Their 3R’s are : Reading, Reflection and Resourcefulness and you can use them to your advantage as well.

3 R’s:

1.READING – THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF MILLIONAIRES.

How many hours a day do you devote to reading books that make you think, grow, and inspire you to implement ideas that make your life better? Oprah sums it up this way, ” Books were my pass to personal freedom.” I’m wondering how your life would change if you hung out for an hour or more a day with people like Napoleon Hill, Thomas Edison, John Wooden, or Seneca?

2.REFLECTION — THIS RULE IS CRITICAL TO INTERPRETING EVENTS AND IMPLEMENTING VIABLE SOLUTIONS

Unless you take the time to reflect on what you have learned and experienced, you will have difficulty making the connections necessary to make great decisions, improve mastery over a skill, or implement the right solutions.
Jen Stanchfield writes …it (reflection) is the “egg” that binds ingredients together and helps them rise. In cooking, eggs provide structure, richness, color, and flavor to recipes. Similarly,  reflective practice creates context for learning and makes lessons “stick” by helping learners pull meaning from a learning experience and find relevancy in a lesson.
Do you schedule time to think? Top performers make it a priority to schedule “thinking” time.Warren Buffet says, “In the business world, the rear-view mirror is always clearer than the windshield.”  When it comes to effectiveness, we can truly learn from feedback only when we take the time to reflect on its meaning.
“Many a false step was made by standing still” — Tim Ferriss
How does one come up with a quote that is worth repeating like the one above? When he or she has consolidated experience into a reflective statement whose truth is self evident.

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Speaking of feedback that works. Download my cheat sheet that gives you my

3 key steps to start living your life on your own terms. Click to GET ACCESS NOW!

 

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3. RESOURCEFULNESS – THIS RULE IS WHERE CREATIVITY AND INNOVATION MEET REALITY

What does being resourceful mean? It means asking questions, being open minded, and to use trial and error until you come up with a solution that works .  Have you ever heard someone say something like, “It can never be done,” and then Edison proves them wrong. The Wright Brothers prove them wrong.  Henry Ford proves them wrong. The list goes on and on. When we don’t settle, and we keep striving for a solution, we, eventually find the right one when we don’t quit.

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates

For example, this story comes from a Jataka Tale:

Once there was a poor boy who happened upon a dead mouse lying in the road. He wondered if he might turn that mouse’s misfor­tune into some sort of opportunity for himself.

 

He picked up the mouse and brought it to a tavern, where he offered it to the tavern-keeper to feed his cat. The tavern-keeper was grateful, and gave the boy a penny.

With this penny the boy went to the market and bought a very small amount of honey. Then he borrowed a large water pot, filled it with water and carried it into the fields where he knew there were some women picking flowers. It was a hot day, and he offered the flower-pickers a drink of water, each with a drop of honey in it to make it sweet and refreshing. The flower-pickers were grateful, and each gave him a handful of flowers. He sold these in the market, and now had a whole handful of pennies.

Soon afterwards a great storm blew in, bring­ing with it a mighty wind that blew down a large number of twigs and branches from the trees of the king’s pleasure garden. The gardener was scratching his head, wondering how he would clean it all up, when the boy popped up. He of­fered to clean up the entire mess in one day, if he were allowed to keep the wood he collected. The gardener agreed on the spot, greatly relieved.

The clever boy went immediately to the playground and offered the boys playing there a penny each to gather up all the wood and pile it beside the road. They were happy to do so, and had the task done in no time.

Just then a potter who worked nearby was looking for fuel to fire his clay pots in a kiln. The boy offered him the pile of wood, and the potter was delighted he did not have to scavenge wood himself in the forest. He rewarded the boy hand­somely, with a handful of money and several very large water pots.

Meanwhile the boy went to a tavern and befriended both a merchant and a sea captain. From the merchant he learned that a large cara­van with five hundred horses was due to arrive in the village soon.

Using the money he got from the potter, he hired some wagons, loaded his new water pots on them, and filled them with water. He also was able to buy some honey, which he mixed in with the water as before.

It was the season for taking in hay, and at least 500 men were toiling in the fields cutting grass. The boy brought his water to the parched field hands, and in return they each gave him a bundle of grass. He gathered all this grass on the wagons and brought it to the gate of the city, and was there to greet the caravan when it arrived.

The traders had crossed many miles of barren country on their journey, and their horses were famished. They gladly purchased his entire stock of grass, giving him in return from their goods a fine set of clothing, a fancy tent, and a large jew­eled ring.

The boy next learned from his friend the sea captain that a ship was due in port with a rich cargo from foreign lands, and he hatched a plan.

Putting on the fine clothing and the jeweled ring, he had just enough coins left to hire an ex­pensive-looking carriage and driver for an hour. He drove down to the shore to meet the ship as soon as it arrived, with all the appearance of be­ing the son of a very wealthy merchant. He said his father had instructed him to buy the entire ship’s cargo at a generous price, to be paid when the goods were unloaded. He offered the ship’s captain his ring as security for the purchase. The captain was happy to sell all his goods at once, and accepted the offer.

Then the boy drove a short distance off, set up the tent he had gotten from the caravan traders, and promised a handful of coins to three boys if they would help him by acting as his servants. He draped each in a scrap of the fine cloth, and gave them the following instructions. They were told to usher into his presence anyone who turned up wanting to see him, but to do so in three stages. The first boy was to escort the visitor into the vicinity of the tent, the second was to accompany him up to the door, while the third was to usher him in to the presence of the boy posing as a rich merchant’s son.

Before long a hundred merchants went to the dock to buy goods from the ship, but were told by the captain that his entire cargo had already been sold to the wealthy merchant. They fell over one another to reach the boy in his tent, but were made to wait as the “servants” led them one by one to see the “wealthy merchant.” He auctioned off all the goods one by one, making each merchant bid against the others to get what he wanted. The process took a long time, as you might imagine, but the merchants were all so eager to acquire the goods that they drove the prices up very high indeed. By the end of the day the boy had enough money to pay the captain what he had promised him and keep three times as much again for himself.

The boy returned to his village, married the girl he had loved since childhood, and lived a long and prosperous life. He used his wealth to help out anyone in need, and was renowned for his generosity. The moral of the story is that resourcefulness can lead to an abundant life.

Try the 3R’s for yourself and see how much your life can improve just by following these simple three rules.

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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You Don’t HAVE to do Anything Today!! That’s good, right?

So it’s Saturday morning, and I roll over, stretch, and roll over again. I think about what’s next, when the narrative in my brain goes like this:

“I don’t have to get up, yet.”

“There’s nothing I really HAVE to do.”

“I can ease into it.” “I’ll stay here for just a little while longer…”

“Really, well, okay, I guess I better move. But I don’t HAVE to. I feel good. AND besides, I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to.”

This little self-justifying monologue continues until  I finally say this: “Enough is enough, are YOU gonna sleep your life away?”

Wait, what? Whose voice was that? Up till now,  I had a nice “Cruisin” groove going on, when that bull horn of a message hit my brain! Was that my mom’s voice? Or was there someone else inside me holding my ass to a higher standard?

Have you ever had this experience? When you know what would be the best choice for you, but you didn’t want to act on that voice… yet? It’s what Mel Robbins calls, “pulling the handbrake” on action? I know for me that this happens a lot more than I would care to admit. Don’t you find it funny that when you and I were growing up, we never really made this kind of choice? The choice wasn’t whether or not I will get out of bed, the choice was always about what I got to do once I was up. Was it like that for you, too?

Do you choose comfort or adventure?  I remember when I was younger, my family and I would think nothing of taking an hour or more to get ready to go the beach, then driving an hour to get there, hanging out for the day swimming, playing volleyball, tag, or building sand castles, packing everything back up, and driving back home; only to spend 45 minutes, or more, cleaning the car out, and getting cleaned up. My brothers and I still look back and smile at those outings.

Back then my focus wasn’t on comfort, my focus was on adventure, because adventure=fun! But now, my answer would be “It’s not worth it! I would rather lounge around at home!” What gives?

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Hey if you are up for an adventure, join my email list and get my 5 Biggest Tips Resource Guide that helps you to make the rest of 2017  fun, exciting and meaningful. Who doesn’t want to look back on 2017 with pride!  Get Access Now

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Here’s the deal:

When we hang out in our comfort zone, it’s pretty darn snuggly. We know how to handle any little thing that comes our way, and we are secure that everything we need can be handled or covered.  There is no demand on our cognitive abilities, and we can cruise.

On the other hand, we are bored, underutilized, and lack that spark we had when we were young. We long to “live,” however, if we chose to really live, it would make us feel really uncomfortable.

The Courage Zone. Take a look at this graphic. Let’s say our nice comfy bed is in the center, and that jumping out of airplanes is near the outer edge.

(In order to you and I to feel paralysis, overwhelm, and terror, the activity has to really be far out of the range of our perceived capabilities.)

The area that is just beyond the edge of our comfort zone — the courage zone — holds the key that will be the bridge to take us from where we are now to where we want to be.

This zone is the place where stepping stones are placed. It is where skill sets are practiced and honed, and where you begin to “grow into the person” who can make your big goals happen. A life coach is a resource that can help you bridge this gap faster and easier.

The 2% Mindset believes that true living exists beyond our comfort zones. Their definition of “true living” is to feel confident, excited, abundant, fulfilled, and going for your dreams! No where on that list is the opportunity to say with glee, “I get to stay in bed all day long and surf the internet.”

What kind of mindset is necessary for us to be a part of the 2 Percent Club? Carol Dweck’s  book, Mindset,  has the answer.

The 98% who seek comfort, usually are a stubborn lot. They have a “fixed mindset” which assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are fixed and will not change over time. They usually say things like, “I know exactly what will happen,” “Nothing will ever change,” and “That’s just the way it is.”

The 2 Percent Club, on the other hand, believes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability can grow and change over time. They believe the courage zone will lead them to a life full of excitement, opportunity, and abundance. Not the kind of life that is safe and snuggly, but the kind of life that is safe, snuggly, AND exciting. The kind of life that you and I can only imagine in our dreams, unless…

Which brings us back to me, and my “get to stay in bed all day” mantra. I want what the 2 Percenters have, and in order to get it, I have to spend more time in the courage zone. So the next time I’m tempted to talk myself into hours of bed time, I’ll remember not to pull the handbrake, but to jump out of bed and see what life has in store for me, just like I did when I was a kid.

So the next time you find yourself getting to choose between “staying in bed” and going somewhere like the beach,  you may want to revisit the 2% mindsets’ point of view, and get your butt in gear. Your big, beautiful life awaits!!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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Duck, Duck, Goose and You

You know that kindergarten game, Duck, Duck, Goose? It goes like this: We sit in a circle and one person walks around tapping each of us on the head, saying “Duck” until they  tap you, and yell, “Goose!” Then you jump up and try to catch them before they sit down in your spot! It’s a perfect analogy for how a lot of us use tactics and strategy. We often don’t get the results that we want, until we ignite a strategy that makes the tactics have meaning.

How do you know when you need a tactic as opposed to a strategy? Most of us have heard that familiar saying, “We won the battle, but lost the war.” Or, “I won the argument, but we’re getting a divorce.” Sometimes even when we win, we lose. Maybe it’s because we’re making a rookie mistake.

Rookies focus on the win. You’ve probably experienced this once, or if you’re like me, more than once. You’re excited about a new opportunity, and you can’t wait to show what you know. But in your rush to show, you learn very quickly that what you didn’t know bit you in the  a–!! If only you had slowed down, you would have avoided a painful lesson.

Veterans focus on the win over the long haul. They employ their skill, knowledge and experience to win, just like the rookie, but the veteran’s doesn’t fall for the tactics, he or she is thinking in much broader terms. Veterans are veterans for a reason. They’ve figured out that, sometimes, you have to lose to win big! So how does this relate to your life?

When you don’t have a vision for your life, your goals tend to be narrow in scope. When your goals are narrow in scope,  you tend to use tactics to be successful. Tactics are necessary and very helpful, but tactics need to be used in conjunction with an overall strategy that serves the vision that you want to have for your life — if you want a life that makes you happy about who you are, what you’re doing, and who you are with for the long term.

Take a look at this graphic, and you’ll start to see the relationship between tactics, strategy and vision. Let’s break it down:

Tactics – targeted plans and methods to get you what you want.

Strategy – is the framework and planning you use to make your vision a reality. It is made up of the tactics that will get you what you want in the long term.

Vision is the driving force behind your choice of strategy and tactics.

While each of the elements can incorporate a plan, it is the scope of the planning that will get you long term success.

Steven Covey wrote, “Begin with the end in mind.” Tony Robbins asks before he even starts a business, “What’s our exit strategy?” The question that both of these great men are talking about is the simple idea that when you’re sitting in your rocking chair at age 90, how do you want to feel about the life you led? What would have meant the most to you?

What would make you satisfied so that you smile that smile? What would you have to do to live your life with little or no regrets?

If you decide that you want to begin with the end in mind, you need to have a strategy to do that. One of the best strategies that I know of is to have an effective life map that takes you from where you are now to where you want to be. Here’s a graphic that gives you the frame work to set up a path for success:

Resources: The first stop on your map. Make sure these items are in place before you begin to gain efficiency and effectiveness.

  1. Vision – The goal for your life
  2. Plan – What is your plan to achieve it? What steps are you going to take?
  3. Motivation – What is your big why about this goal?
  4. Habits – These are the actions taken on a daily basis that will help you work your plan to success. What are the big rocks of this goal?
  5. Mindset – The attitudes and beliefs that will support you in your quest. Who must you have to be successful?
  6. Emotional Support – These are the people who believe in you, believe in your dream that will back you up and cheer you on to victory. Who are they and have you enlisted their help?
  7. Money Skills – How do you need to manage your budget to be successful in attaining your goal? Do you have to save? Do you have to target your purchases? Do you need to get investors?
  8. Time – This is when you plan to work on the activities that will bring you to goal completion. When is the best time to schedule your activities? For how long? How many times per week? t

 Obstacles: This is the second stop on your map. You have started to work your plan, and may have even hit a benchmark or two. What do you notice? Is there resistance? Identify any obstacles and modify your plan now for great success.          

           Obstacle Obliteration Plan – The OKAY Method

  1. Options: What are they? List them. If you are satisfied with the list, go directly to Step 3. If nothing comes to mind, or the options you came up with are not up to your standards go to Step 2.
    Kall for help: Help!!! There are resources to help you when you open yourself up to look for them. Remember who, what, where, when, why, and how from English class? Apply it here.
  2. Act: Take action on the How you learned in Step 2.
  3. Yes: As in yes you can be successful by evaluating and then acting on the feedback you get. If you haven’t achieved the result you wanted, immediately go back to Step 1 and repeat the steps until you are successful.

Consistency in Working Your Plan: This is the third stop on your map. Things seem to have a momentum, and it looks like your plan is working. Don’t get distracted or skip action step –sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we are doing the steps when we are actually doing them in our imagination!

Check – In: This is the fourth stop on your map. It feels like you are going to be in this spot forever.

  • How’s it going?
  • Do you have to modify? Yes, go back to Resources to modify plan.
  • If not, keep on keeping on.

 Five F’s: This is the fifth stop on your map. This is where you want to quit, because it is taking so damn long! You are impatient and just want to let it go. However, this is where you do your final digging deep, final push toward the end. Check yourself out with these:

            Fear – Are you afraid? Nothing is more important than how you feel when you have accomplished this goal. Do it anyway!

            Fatigue – Are you tired? How do you get energy and reignite your motivation?  Remember why you wanted this goal in the first place.

            False Beliefs – The way to breakdown beliefs is to test them! You can finish this! Test your thoughts and assumptions. Maybe something needs to change?

Fix and regroup – Test to see what works, and apply what you’ve learned.

Final push till end – Perseverance. It isn’t over until you have attained your goal!

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*** Speaking of Strategies. Quarter 1 of 2017 has gone. How are things going? If you think you might need a little help. I host a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools and strategies the Pros use to make this year something special. The keys are:

1) Clarity and why it is important.

2) Vision. Have a vision for your life that inspires you.

3) Goals. Have a goal map that takes you from where you are to where you want to be.

If you’re struggling in one or more areas of your life, and you feel like you may just need a little boost to get this year rolling again, this free webinar may help. You can sign up for it here.

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The number one tactic used by people everywhere is the S.M.A.R.T. goals framework. This method will help you develop goals that will give you short term gains in service of your long term strategy. Your goals need to have these elements to be efficient and effective:

S.M.A.R.T. Goal Framework
Specific – A specific goal is clear and not subject to interpretation. In other words, a six year old could understand it. For example, I will text my husband every day to tell him I love him so that he can feel close and important to me even when we are apart. This a very specific goal with a very clear outcome. How do I know I achieved it? By asking my husband. If, however, my goal was to “be more loving.” It really isn’t clear what that means. Do you get the difference?
• Measurable – Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress so that you know how close you are to achieving your goal. For example, a goal that states, “I will have a full right leg split by the end of six weeks” is concrete and clear. My measurement of outcome in this example is a full split.
• Actionable – Is this goal within your current skill set, or do you have to accomplish other goals before you can attain this one? For example, if I say I want my Ph.D. in Exercise Physiology this year, when I haven’t even completed high school, then I am setting myself up for failure — unless I can test out of all of my requirements, and start my program immediately! Is my goal within my current skill set?
Relevant – This is key! Choose goals that matter to you. A relevant goal answers yes to the following questions:
a. Is it worthwhile?
b. Is this the right time? (Financially, Stage of Life, Emotionally)
c. Does this goal fit with my overall vision of my life?
Time-bound – A goal must have a target date, in order for you to have sufficient leverage to accomplish it. A deadline that is too far into the future is easily put off. A goal that is set too close to the present may not only be unrealistic, it can discouraging. The target date you set must fit your schedule, the type of goal it is, and supports your overall plan.

If you are looking for some tactics that will help make 2017 an amazing year, join my email list and get my resource guide to do just that here: I want your tips!

So, the next time you are trying to decide what goal to go after, remember to go back to the vision you have for your life. Then decide whether you need a tactic or an overall strategy to get you there. My goal is to have you make the choice that will make you smile that smile when you are rockin out in your rocking chair!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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If You Fail to Plan, How Will It Happen?

My 11 year old daughter took the floor with all the poise of a seasoned professional. Focused and determined with grace and verve, she was ready to win. She had worked hard, all year long, and it was GO time. The only reason that she was about to step on the mats at all was because of a decision that she had made almost nine months earlier.

In July of last year, after she had earned and won third place in the Poomsae(forms) competition at the AAU Tae Kwon Do (TKD) National Championships in Fort Lauderdale, FL, she sat down with us to talk about her plans. She told us that she didn’t want to go to the Junior Olympics, as she wanted to switch styles of TKD. She wanted to compete at the World Championships in Poomsae when she turned twelve, and she needed to get a vertical side kick on both legs to have a shot at it. Note the picture to the right. She put that up on the wall of her training room when she started. Hmmm, that face looks awfully familiar.

It had been a long road to medal at a major championship, and now she wanted to start over. What could she be thinking? She had trained since she was four in the ITF style of TKD, so the change wasn’t going to be easy, and she had just achieved a major accomplishment. This change would take careful planning, practice, sacrifice, and victory was not assured. As her mom, I wasn’t convinced that this was the best course of action. We had been talking about changing for a couple of weeks, and while I was focused on the challenges that lay ahead, Sophia was focused on the glory that could be hers if she switched. 🙂

Have you ever had that happen to you? You have worked long and hard for a goal, and have had some success, only to decide that you needed to change and go in a new direction?

In the end, we decided to let her design her own path to greatness :), and as a result, changed gyms, approaches and training methods. Her father and I had learned, long ago, that the best way to achieve a big goal was to  reverse engineer it. That is, to “Begin with the end in mind.”

We researched what the best training methods were, and created a training program with her coach, on and off the mats, so that Sophia would peak when competition season started. Without a clear plan, intermediate benchmarks that allowed her to break down the big goal into smaller chunks, and consistently working her plan, she wouldn’t have been able to compete, nor as you can see from the picture, attain that elusive vertical side kick that is the hallmark of World Poomsae Champions.

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*** Speaking of big goals. Quarter 1 of 2017 has gone. How are things going? If you think you might need a little help. I host  a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools the Pros use to make this year something special. The keys are:

1) Clarity and why it is important.

2) Vision. Have a vision for your life that inspires you.

3) Goals. Have a goal map that takes you from where you are to where you want to be.

If you are struggling in one or more areas of your life and you feel like you may just need a little boost to get this year rolling again, this free webinar may help. You can sign up for it here.

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Let’s return to the competition. Sophia stood front and center, ready to perform, but something seemed off. That poise and confidence that was in her face a moment ago was replaced with confusion and doubt. Yet, the “Eye of the Jeffrey” came back quickly, and she performed a nearly flawless poomsae routine.

When the scores were tallied, she took second place! Nine months of intense training culminated in success! But Sophia didn’t view it that way. She had wanted to win, and felt that she was off her game despite recovering her focus, because she wasn’t told which form to perform ahead of time. She felt that little bit of confusion was the edge the other girl needed to win. Afterwards, it came to light that the rookie mistake was ours, because…

In all of our planning, it never occurred to us to plan for the competition protocol, itself. What would have happened if we had planned and prepared her for that? Darn rookies!

I took you on this journey to illustrate how an insurmountable big goal could be attained with planning, practice and execution.  Sophia isn’t special, even though we think she is. She has all the capability you and I possess to make our goals real, too. What she does have, that sometimes we don’t, is the belief that all things are possible with hard work, planning, and belief.

Her success formula, with the help of her mom, dad and coach was this:

  1. Reverse engineer the goal
  2. Break that goal into measurable benchmarks
  3. Work that plan consistently
  4. Modify it if necessary
  5. Celebrate hitting the benchmarks
  6. Enjoy the fact that you took a desire and made it real

That’s it! Easy peasy. So what big goal are you going after, and what is the first step you can take right now to make it happen? Do it! Dreams only come true when you take action!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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To Deadline or Not To Deadline?

***First things first. The results from the What is the One Thing You Can Do To Feel Better About Yourself poll are in and it was a 50/50 split between 1) Spend more time with those you care about and 2) Develop a product or service. I think it is no surprise that connection and contribution are the top two ways to make us feel good about ourselves. On to today’s topic.

Yesterday, I was at the music store in Fruit Cove, FL where I received a full fifteen minute lecture on the intricacies and importance of drum stick holding procedures, before I was allowed to even hit something. It’s true. There is an art to drum stick holding!! Who knew?!

At first, I was like, “Really?” I just want to hit’em. But no. Timothy had other plans for me. He had a whole “introductory lecture” on the topic, but for the sake of time, he was giving me the reader’s digest version. It was 15 MINUTES long! I was transfixed and intrigued that he was taking so much time on something that I considered unimportant. Who would do that? AND Do you know how long 15 minutes is when all you want to do is hit something?

First, he showed me the end goal of how you sit and play on the coolest ever drum set that I’ve laid eyes on. Then we went over weight, the how’s and why’s of thumb and finger placement and pressure, the angles at which the integrity of your wrist alignment was paramount, and finally, how it feels when you do it exactly right! What? I signed up for drum lessons, not for a PhD in drumming! Argh!

However.

When I let go of my ‘getting to the drum pad as quickly as possible’ deadline, I was able to enjoy his love and passion for drumming and learn something important about him:  his desire to give his students the best instruction possible. He told me one of the reasons that he learned to go into so much detail in the beginning was the enjoyment factor.

If his students held the drum sticks right, they hit the drum pad better and more consistently. When they hit better they enjoy it more, sound better, and learn how to play faster. Triple Score! So he was actually saving me time, money, and increasing my enjoyment by NOT letting me hit right away! Who knew?!

I went into this much detail not to torture you with the arcana of drum stick holding procedures, but rather, to illustrate the topic of this blog post. A lot of the enjoyment of having goals lies in the process of your attaining them, and not just in the attainment, itself. Does that make sense?

In martial arts, we often hear that it is the journey that matters most and not the destination. Well, watching Drum Guru Man do his thing reminded me first-hand of what that principle looks like in action.

I am wondering what are your thoughts about deadlines? Do you love’em, hate’em or are they a necessary evil to help you accomplish your goals? Vote and I will post the results next week! Thanks!!

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*** Speaking of deadlines. Quarter 1 of 2017 has gone. How are things going? If you think you might need a little help. I host  a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools the Pros use to make this year something special. The keys are:

1) Clarity and why it is important.

2) Vision. Have a vision for your life that inspires you.

3) Goals. Have a goal map that takes you from where you are to where you want to be.

If you are struggling in one or more areas of your life and you feel like you may just need a little help to get this year rolling again, this free webinar may help. You can sign up for it here.

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Back to the story. My drum master guru is all of around 25, and is on fire. Do you know what I mean? He LOVES all things music. You know people like that right? They can’t help but download all they know on a subject, because it just feels so good. I ended up enjoying the heck out of the lesson, in part, because of how he communicated his knowledge to me. His love of drumming fueled my interest, and thus, by the end of the lesson, I was hitting all the right notes, and having a blast doing it;

Which got me to thinking about deadlines. If I hadn’t let go of my deadline of when I should be hitting the drum pad, I would have been seriously annoyed. I would have been impatient,and not learned how to hold the drum sticks, because I would have been focused on my internal dialogue that may have sounded like this: “How long is this going to take?” “I signed up for drumming not lectures.” “How hard can it be to hold a drum stick?” “Why is he wasting so much time on this?”

What my teacher knew, and I didn’t, was that how I held my drum sticks was THE driver of my enjoyment and progress in drumming. If I hadn’t have let go of my deadline, I would never have learned that, nor would I have enjoyed  his desire and approach to do the best job ever.

But here’s the deal. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about deadlines. They are important in the completion of any goal, and they are good motivators for action. What I am saying is that adhering to a deadline is not always necessary or desirable. Some times, letting go of a deadline not only increases your enjoyment, but may just help you learn faster, too.

That’s it for me. Keep on, drumming on!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

Will You Vote?

This morning I walked on the beach, priming away, as I prepared for my client’s phone call. Nothing too unusual. The beach was bright, breezy, and beautiful, and I was centered and focused. Each time I walk by the water, I feel better about who I am, and about how I show up in the world. I can feel strong and think clearly, and so my beach walk has become a beloved morning routine.

So when I got on the call, I was surprised when my client confided a key fact to me that reminded me of my walk this morning. It got me to think about how we show up and why we show up in the world the way we do. I can’t share with you the content of our session, but I can tell you that each of us has a unique perspective and understanding about the world. What works for you and yours may not work for me and mine. However, the way we operate in the world, sometimes, presupposes that our definitions about the world are the same. The fall-out made me want to create a poll, and see what you think.

Would you be so kind as to take the poll below? I am curious as to what you think would make the biggest impact on how you feel about yourself.

Thanks for taking the time to play, and sharing your point of view with me!

Until next time,

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be!

 

Oh My Gosh – Mel Robbins Raw and Real!

I was at my networking meeting this morning, and gave my 2 minute infomercial. The substance of the talk was to introduce the idea that you can condition yourself to have your best days more often:

…A lot of us tend to use a small amount of our ability, and when we get challenged, stressed, or even when we have a bad day, oftentimes, our best selves don’t show up, precisely because, we haven’t condition that skill. We forget what we are going to say, we take short cuts, and we even lose our tempers. As a result, we can get disappointed and feel stuck. We can then believe that the explanations we have about why we can’t get what we want are all true and that they define our capabilities.

A coach can teach you how to have your best days more often, and help you to condition that skill so that you can have the focus, confidence and clarity you need to succeed…”

You see many of us don’t realize that a lot of successful characteristics people have are actually skills that everyone of us can develop. When I got home,  I logged on to Facebook and saw this interview Mel Robbins did with Impact Theory host Tim Bilieu.

All I can say is that she gave a beautiful explanation of how we can mess with ourselves! In her honest retelling of the struggles she has faced and overcome, she shares with the viewer how to condition a skill that gets you out of worry, anxiety, or procrastination and into actions that work. It is well worth the time investment. Don’t watch your favorite TV show until you watch this interview!

I hope that you enjoyed watching Mel, and take action on what you hear. When you do, it will be a game changer for you! If you want to learn more about Mel Robbins, her book,  or Impact theory, click the links below:

https://melrobbins.com/blog/

The Five Second Rule

http://impacttheory.com/

Thanks for reading, and until next time,

 

Remember your so much more than who you believe yourself to be!

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