My goal this week was to observe “the games people play” and report back on my findings. I got side tracked with that endeavor, because I got caught up in the art of listening. I was looking for games and what I heard was:
No one ever listens to me.
I want you to pay attention to me.
I want you to be my friend.
You are the reason I can’t…
I want what you have, because I will never get it.
Why does this always happen to me?
It’s not fair…
We are so lucky.
Can you believe she was able to do that?
I heard longing, heartache, despair, but I also heard hope, excitement and gratitude.
So I am sitting here sort of confused. I can pretty well identify a “game” someone is playing, and the payoff they are looking for, but I am wondering, why? Why can’t I just ask for a burger, and get a burger?
So I ask, “Why, didn’t you bring me a burger?”
He answers, “You said burger, but meant ‘hot dog’.”
I said, “If I meant ‘hot dog,’ I would say ‘hotdog’.”
He said, “What’s the big deal?”
I said,”Because you never really listen to me.”
He said, “It’s just a hot dog.”
I said, “Exactly.”
See what I mean?! What about you? What do you hear in the space between the words? Can you identify the core feeling, need or desire that is being expressed in another way?
I never did get the burger. But the hot dog was pretty good. 🙂
Until next time,