He said. She said.

listen
Me: “Can you get me a burger just like the one I got for you?”
Him: “Sure.”
He comes back fifteen minutes later with a hot dog.

My goal this week was to observe “the games people play” and report back on my findings. I got side tracked with that endeavor, because I got caught up in the art of listening. I was looking for games and what I heard was:

No one ever listens to me.
I want you to pay attention to me.
I want you to be my friend.
You are the reason I can’t…
I want what you have, because I will never get it.
Why does this always happen to me?
It’s not fair…
I’m scared…
We are so lucky.
Can you believe she was able to do that?
So awesome…

I heard longing, heartache, despair, but I also heard hope, excitement and gratitude.

So I am sitting here sort of confused. I can pretty well identify a “game” someone is playing, and the payoff they are looking for, but I am wondering, why? Why can’t I just ask for a burger, and get a burger?

So I ask, “Why, didn’t you bring me a burger?”
He answers, “You said burger, but meant ‘hot dog’.”
I said, “If I meant ‘hot dog,’ I would say ‘hotdog’.”
He said, “What’s the big deal?”
I said,”Because you never really listen to me.”
He said, “It’s just a hot dog.”
I said, “Exactly.”

See what I mean?! What about you? What do you hear in the space between the words? Can you identify the core feeling, need or desire that is being expressed in another way?

I never did get the burger. But the hot dog was pretty good. šŸ™‚

Until next time,

photo(22)

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