I got it all wrong.

imageI am at the end of my week of experimentation, and I find, much to my surprise and chagrin, that I had it all wrong. I don’t really like how it feels to be wrong, by the way. And to be wrong about something so vitally important as happiness, seems to me rather very unenlightened of me — me the person who goes through self help books like they are a box of Oreos.

Here is where I got off track: Pre-experiment I am happily trying this method, and that reframe, and that game plan to increase my satisfaction level. To an extent, I was successful — as successful as someone can be who believed that happiness came from taking action. As long as I was taking action, I was happy, or at the very least, on my way there.

Post-experiment: When I started looking for the good things in my life, and recognized how that felt to me, it changed how I viewed my choices. I was no longer looking for a proxy for happiness, I was looking for the real thing. Which led me to the greatest “Aha” I have had yet. It wasn’t in the “looking for the good” that happiness occurred. It was in the noticing how I felt when events happened. The more I noticed the connection between gratitude, beauty, excellence, completion of a goal, a smile from a little girl eating her bologna sandwich, the more I (that is I with a huge capital letter) got out of the way of my own sunlight. The more I noticed and savored this feeling, the more the Universe wanted to give it back to me!

I am not kidding. So I go through the week, and I am jotting notices down like crazy. Here is a sampling of the rare or never before occurrences that happened this week: a parking spot right in front of the store (happened all over – everywhere for an entire week), a green light from one intersection to the next ( I coasted right through!). I saw 3 beautiful fawns on a hillside, and that was the first time in 50 years I have seen them here! I wanted a bike for my daughter while we have to be out here — found one in perfect condition at Goodwill for $12 right next door to where we have to be, the outpouring of birthday wishes in a way that I had not experienced before. We were looking and looking for THE pair of shoes my daughter wanted – found them, immediately, the day I started this experiment. I got offered the opportunity to do more coaching, and another opportunity that made me jump out of my skin! I could go on. The only thing different about this week was the experiment. So now, I am starting to freak out a bit.

I, Miss So So Aware, did not see this coming. My expectation of this experiment was to feel good during my day. I hadn’t planned on getting abundance, too. I didn’t count on opportunities just appearing, as if I called them on the phone to come on over. My head is spinning, and my heart is telling me to go dark for awhile.

So there it is. I am going to take a break from this blog. I feel the overwhelming need to get clear on where I go from here, and how I want to help others. What is most important to me is how I want to be seen in this world. After 27 posts, I have learned quite a bit about who I am, and about how I want my life to move forward, but not near enough on what the next step of the journey will be.

Until I return, keep challenging the vision you have of your life. Keep experimenting, and refining what works in your life. Most importantly, notice the good that surrounds you, and that good begins inside of you.

Thanks for reading,

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