Am I A Yet, Yet? Revisited

Dr.[Author’s note: I wrote this post about two years ago. It is a playful look at a very important issue for us and for our children]

Hmmm….

I have spent the better part of two days trying to upload a picture and write this post. How appropriate it is that I am writing on the topic of completion. Completion as in being finished! Caput! Done! Finito! I have succeeded! Yay, me! I am a Yet! Hey, maybe “Yet” can be a Dr. Seuss rhyme?

The Tale of Yet
                                                 by Not Yet Yet

All of the Not Yets wanted to be Yets
But the Yets said, “You’re not ready to be Yets yet!”
So the Not Yets set down a plan
To become Not Yets that certainly can.
They toiled and they worked.

They worked and they toiled. No toil was too much because their why was unspoiled.
Then one day, much to their surprise, the “Not” in their “Yets”
Disappeared from their eyes.
Now everyone was a Yet don’t you see? And that’s when the Yets transformed into WE

Nothing like a good Dr. Seusssesque rhyme to get your brain working. Have you noticed that when you get silly, you become free, and when you become free, solutions, well, just show up?!

If you keep using the word should, you “should” all over yourself – 🙂

Measurement Matters

All of this silliness leads to the question of measurement. What’s your measurement for success? And when do you decide that you have succeeded? When you get paid? When you are able to do a jump 360? When you send off that project or wake up for another day pain free? When are you a Yet in your eyes?

This idea has come up in several of the coaching conversations I have had in the last month. Come to find out, measurement is a tricky beast! The answer centers partly on some quantifiable measure, but the other part of the answer centers on the time frame in which we expect to be done.

One of the most powerful tools I found on this topic is Carol Dweck’s concept of “Yet”. In a nutshell, if we don’t decide an outcome as a success or failure within a certain time frame, but rather, we describe it as a process of completeness, a whole lot of needless suffering is kicked to the curb.

Time Frame Hack

If failure is just feedback, and not some confirmation that we are …(You insert the negative self talk), then the question of success centers on goal completion, and not on the time in which we think it “should” take for us to complete it. Period. End of story.

…if we don’t decide an outcome as a success or failure within a certain time frame, but rather, we describe it as a process of completeness, a whole lot of needless suffering is kicked to the curb.

Key Learning

I know. I get caught up in that trap, too. I think I “should” have mastered it, finished it, got it done, yesterday, like this blog post. (I find that, at times, I look for opportunities to do beat myself up like that) But if I use the methodology of Yet, and let go of my “shoulds,”I discover that I am a Yet when I decide to hit “Publish” on this post, and not a failure because I didn’t hit publish yesterday.

Carol Dweck’s Tedx lecture is enlightening and helpful for those of us who have elementary school aged children at home. For those who want to hear the lady speak for herself, the link is below:

To Summarize

To become a Yet you need rules that work:

  1. Have the Right Measurement
  2. Let Go of the Timing
  3. Get Rid of Shoulds and Focus on Your Why

You got this. Leave a comment, ask a question, I am here to help.

Thanks for reading, and until next time,

photo(22)

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