Half and Half

RED OR BLUE? Books or movies? The beach or the mountains? We tend to think in ways that make us believe that our choices come down to either/or, good/bad, right or wrong. It’s easier to make a choice when it comes down to a couple of things.  So are you “the glass is half empty” type of person, or are you “the glass is half full” mindset?

WHAT’S TRUE? Until I saw this graphic (via Volunteer’s Weekly )that created an “Oh my gosh” moment for me, I was definitely in “the glass is half full” camp. To have that point of view, in my opinion, made everything in my life better, because to have the “half-empty” point of view just made things worse. I had noticed that when I suffered, when I felt poor, when I felt like there wasn’t enough, and when I felt frustrated and alone that mindset only added fuel to the fire.

DON’T GET ME WRONG

I don’t operate 24/7 with an abundant (half-full) mindset. Although, I wonder what my life would be like if I could. When things spiral out of control, when someone disappoints me, when I mess up, I don’t feel all that great. In those moments,  I do forget all the people, experiences and things that make my life beautiful and amazing. I definitely focus on “the glass is half empty” and that just sucks.

But what is so great about being a human being is that you and I hold the power in our our minds to change any circumstance that we dislike.

 

HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? 

Before you answer, I want to share with you why this came up in the first place. I am currently in California helping out my mom who has a serious illness. It is important to me to be with her and to help her as much as I can before she passes away. However, that decision (made freely and which makes me feel good) comes with a few downsides. One of the majors is that my time is no longer my own. Doctor’s appointments, phone calls, driving, cooking, grocery shopping et al can consume entire days and leave me feeling exhausted, and well, poor – poor in time, poor in spirit, poor in relationships… poor, poor, poor me!

How in the heck did I set things up so I could suffer? What originally had made me feel awesome, started to suck the chi right out of me. Do you know what I mean? I wanted this, and now, well, it wasn’t what I had expected. Has that ever happened to you?

YOU MAKE THE RULES

It is hard to admit, but there is a lot more in my control than I would like to admit at times. So I had to look at my mindset and see what the heck was going on with me. That’s when I realized that I could turn this around and set up my rules to win.

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If you want to set up the rules to win in your life, I have created a free resource that asks you some key clarifying questions that will help you to do just that

Click here to GET ACCESS

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HOW I GOT IT BACK

One of the great things that can happen when you commit to doing something like putting on a Facebook Live every week is that it forces you to come up with content – even when you don’t feel like it.

5 GREAT IDEAS TO MAKE YOU FEEL RICH

This was born out of my need to change something. I needed something to help me get back into a rich mindset. A mindset that looked at life from a half-full perspective, and I had to do it without spending a lot of money, nor taking a lot of time that I just didn’t have. Here they are:

  1. Rich in Body – Lock the bathroom door and take a bath. No distractions. After your bath, close your bedroom door and stretch slowly and easily. Finally, finish with a 5 minute breathing meditation to energize you.  This protocol feels amazing.
  2. Rich in Relationships – Find something you like and appreciate about every person you come in contact with for the day. You will be amazed not only how connected you feel, but how much love comes back to you.
  3. Rich in Spirit – Make a list of every person, place, thing, and even your body that you benefit from AND that you had nothing to do with. When you hit item 50, you will realize just how abundant and blessed your life is.
  4. Rich in Home – De-clutter an area in your home. Decide whether you want to sell the items or give them away. Either way, the space you create makes you feel rich. If you can sell or give things away, you have more than many people out there.
  5. Rich in Time – Take just an hour (before the day starts or at day end) and commit to that time being yours. You make the rules, and you get to have it ALL your way.  When you give yourself this type of freedom, you feel rich.

What I figured out was that the formula for feeling rich is really simple:

RICH = TO DO WHAT YOU WANT+ WITH WHOM YOU WANT + TO BE WHO YOU WANT+ TO HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT….AND

to do what you want gives you a certain feeling

with whom you want gives you a certain feeing

to be who you want gives you a certain feeling

to have whatever you want gives you a certain feeling … so

RICH = THE FEELINGS YOU WANT TO HAVE ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE

Guess what? That is definitely in your control and you can set up the rules that make you feel what you want to feel more often.

You can watch the video here to learn about these ideas as well. #WhiteboardWednesdays

HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?

Is a choice. While this graphic says, “the glass is always full” what it doesn’t say that screams out to me is that the 1/2 air represents the most important part of the glass: OPPORTUNITY! Opportunity to make your life so much fuller and richer, and as you fill your life up with more love, light and joy, your cup will runneth other. Half- empty is not empty at all. Half-empty is possibility!

As always with these posts, my intention is to share the top tips and tools that make my life and my client’s lives better. My hope is that this post has done that for you.

Please feel free to leave a comment, and share your stories and your tips for making yourself feel richer with little or no money below.

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the show. #WhiteboardWednesdays

Until next time,

Remember, you are so much more than who you believe yourself to be

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How To Get Better At Anything

Paradiddles.  Doesn’t it sound kind of like a dance move?  So when my drum teacher asked me to play them, I thought, “No problem,” because he had already showed me how that drumbeat : RLRR, LRLL and so on, (R – right drum stick, L – left drum stick) could be mastered by just going slow and building my speed up over time. AND it did go well, until he told me to head on over to the drum set where he then asked me to add the bass drum, and cymbals in addition to the snare drum! WHAT?? That was OTT (means over the top in music speak) and way too much.

But then, he did a funny thing, he had me break down  the sticking into each component part (My left foot, my right foot, my left hand and my right hand.) It felt like I was trying to fly a helicopter on the ground! After he showed me how to do that,  he had me slow it down, and when I could do that, he had me work on smoothing out my playing. What seemed like an impossible task in the beginning turned into a framework that showed me how I could eventually master this skill. Way cool!

What I didn’t know was the method he used was similar to the method outlined in the book “The Talent Code” by Daniel Coyle.  According to Coyle, top performers have talent, but a large part of what sets them apart is their incredible work ethic, AND the use of this concept called Deep Practice. (You can click the picture for more information about the book)

But before we get to the outline of how you can follow six easy steps to jump start your skill development, there are some basic concepts you have to grasp first.

The Simple Facts About Our Biology:

  1. “Every human movement, thought, or feeling is a precisely timed electric signal traveling through a chain of neurons — a circuit of nerve fibers.
  2. Myelin is the insulation that wraps these nerve fibers and increases signal strength, speed, and accuracy.
  3. The more we fire a particular circuit, the more myelin optimizes that circuit, and the stronger, faster, and more fluent our movements and thoughts become.”

Are you starting to see why practice is so so important?

Two More Fun Facts:

  1. “All actions are the result of electrical impulses sent along chains of nerve fibers.
  2. The more we develop a skill circuit, the less we’re aware that we’re using it… We’re built to make skills automatic, to stash them in our unconscious mind.”

Now does it make sense why pesky habits are so hard to get rid of?

The point of this brief lesson in neurology is to make the simple but deadly point that skill = biology = myelin development.

So what does all of that have to do with deep practice? Deep practice develops myelin in a way that makes you become really good at what you do. You become stronger, faster and more fluent in your movements.

And what is so great about that is that you can learn deep practice, too!

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Speaking of developing a practice that works for you, I have a tool  that will help you get started creating the life you want to live on your own terms. It’s a free resource that asks you some key clarifying questions that helped me and my clients to do just that!

Click here to GET ACCESS

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Losing it. Heard that saying, “If you don’t use it, you lose it?!” Well it’s based on the concept mentioned above that if you don’t fire the circuits of a particular activity, thought, or feeling, the myelin starts to break down around that circuit, and as a consequence, makes it weaker and weaker until it will not fire well, anymore. Want to get rid of a habit, stop doing it, and just wait. Eventually, the desire to do it disappears. Conversely, if you want to keep a skill and improve on it, daily practice is the key, and deep practice is THE BOMB.

Speaking of practice. I just did a Facebook Live, yesterday, on this very topic, where I not only illustrate the six steps of Deep Practice below, but also started to build consistency in my practice of speaking live. You can find it here: Facebook Live Practice #2

Here is a brief summary of the steps that help you learn a skill faster, better and with more accuracy.

Six Steps to Deep Practice

  1. Get a big picture overview
  2. Break it down to the smallest blocks of information (chunks) that can be easily mastered
  3. Slow it down to the speed that can be easily mastered
  4. Get it down through repetition (Turn inward and identify what it feels like when you do it right, and wrong)
  5.  Build it back up, and then
  6. Slowly increase speed

Once you get used to practicing these six steps, any skill you want to learn will become a lot easier to master, and if you do the work, your steps to mastery will be faster, too!

Practice makes progress, or like Coyle likes to say, “Practice makes myelin.” And with daily practice, myelin makes you a bad ass drummer and Facebook Live presenter . 🙂

Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this summary of Coyle’s book.  It really is worth your time to learn, in detail, how to use deep practice in your life. Here is the link to my latest Facebook Live Show, again. #WhiteboardWednesdays

Until next time,

Until next time, remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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You Don’t HAVE to do Anything Today!! That’s good, right?

So it’s Saturday morning, and I roll over, stretch, and roll over again. I think about what’s next, when the narrative in my brain goes like this:

“I don’t have to get up, yet.”

“There’s nothing I really HAVE to do.”

“I can ease into it.” “I’ll stay here for just a little while longer…”

“Really, well, okay, I guess I better move. But I don’t HAVE to. I feel good. AND besides, I don’t have to do anything if I don’t want to.”

This little self-justifying monologue continues until  I finally say this: “Enough is enough, are YOU gonna sleep your life away?”

Wait, what? Whose voice was that? Up till now,  I had a nice “Cruisin” groove going on, when that bull horn of a message hit my brain! Was that my mom’s voice? Or was there someone else inside me holding my ass to a higher standard?

Have you ever had this experience? When you know what would be the best choice for you, but you didn’t want to act on that voice… yet? It’s what Mel Robbins calls, “pulling the handbrake” on action? I know for me that this happens a lot more than I would care to admit. Don’t you find it funny that when you and I were growing up, we never really made this kind of choice? The choice wasn’t whether or not I will get out of bed, the choice was always about what I got to do once I was up. Was it like that for you, too?

Do you choose comfort or adventure?  I remember when I was younger, my family and I would think nothing of taking an hour or more to get ready to go the beach, then driving an hour to get there, hanging out for the day swimming, playing volleyball, tag, or building sand castles, packing everything back up, and driving back home; only to spend 45 minutes, or more, cleaning the car out, and getting cleaned up. My brothers and I still look back and smile at those outings.

Back then my focus wasn’t on comfort, my focus was on adventure, because adventure=fun! But now, my answer would be “It’s not worth it! I would rather lounge around at home!” What gives?

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Hey if you are up for an adventure, join my email list and get my 5 Biggest Tips Resource Guide that helps you to make the rest of 2017  fun, exciting and meaningful. Who doesn’t want to look back on 2017 with pride!  Get Access Now

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Here’s the deal:

When we hang out in our comfort zone, it’s pretty darn snuggly. We know how to handle any little thing that comes our way, and we are secure that everything we need can be handled or covered.  There is no demand on our cognitive abilities, and we can cruise.

On the other hand, we are bored, underutilized, and lack that spark we had when we were young. We long to “live,” however, if we chose to really live, it would make us feel really uncomfortable.

The Courage Zone. Take a look at this graphic. Let’s say our nice comfy bed is in the center, and that jumping out of airplanes is near the outer edge.

(In order to you and I to feel paralysis, overwhelm, and terror, the activity has to really be far out of the range of our perceived capabilities.)

The area that is just beyond the edge of our comfort zone — the courage zone — holds the key that will be the bridge to take us from where we are now to where we want to be.

This zone is the place where stepping stones are placed. It is where skill sets are practiced and honed, and where you begin to “grow into the person” who can make your big goals happen. A life coach is a resource that can help you bridge this gap faster and easier.

The 2% Mindset believes that true living exists beyond our comfort zones. Their definition of “true living” is to feel confident, excited, abundant, fulfilled, and going for your dreams! No where on that list is the opportunity to say with glee, “I get to stay in bed all day long and surf the internet.”

What kind of mindset is necessary for us to be a part of the 2 Percent Club? Carol Dweck’s  book, Mindset,  has the answer.

The 98% who seek comfort, usually are a stubborn lot. They have a “fixed mindset” which assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are fixed and will not change over time. They usually say things like, “I know exactly what will happen,” “Nothing will ever change,” and “That’s just the way it is.”

The 2 Percent Club, on the other hand, believes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability can grow and change over time. They believe the courage zone will lead them to a life full of excitement, opportunity, and abundance. Not the kind of life that is safe and snuggly, but the kind of life that is safe, snuggly, AND exciting. The kind of life that you and I can only imagine in our dreams, unless…

Which brings us back to me, and my “get to stay in bed all day” mantra. I want what the 2 Percenters have, and in order to get it, I have to spend more time in the courage zone. So the next time I’m tempted to talk myself into hours of bed time, I’ll remember not to pull the handbrake, but to jump out of bed and see what life has in store for me, just like I did when I was a kid.

So the next time you find yourself getting to choose between “staying in bed” and going somewhere like the beach,  you may want to revisit the 2% mindsets’ point of view, and get your butt in gear. Your big, beautiful life awaits!!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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Duck, Duck, Goose and You

You know that kindergarten game, Duck, Duck, Goose? It goes like this: We sit in a circle and one person walks around tapping each of us on the head, saying “Duck” until they  tap you, and yell, “Goose!” Then you jump up and try to catch them before they sit down in your spot! It’s a perfect analogy for how a lot of us use tactics and strategy. We often don’t get the results that we want, until we ignite a strategy that makes the tactics have meaning.

How do you know when you need a tactic as opposed to a strategy? Most of us have heard that familiar saying, “We won the battle, but lost the war.” Or, “I won the argument, but we’re getting a divorce.” Sometimes even when we win, we lose. Maybe it’s because we’re making a rookie mistake.

Rookies focus on the win. You’ve probably experienced this once, or if you’re like me, more than once. You’re excited about a new opportunity, and you can’t wait to show what you know. But in your rush to show, you learn very quickly that what you didn’t know bit you in the  a–!! If only you had slowed down, you would have avoided a painful lesson.

Veterans focus on the win over the long haul. They employ their skill, knowledge and experience to win, just like the rookie, but the veteran’s doesn’t fall for the tactics, he or she is thinking in much broader terms. Veterans are veterans for a reason. They’ve figured out that, sometimes, you have to lose to win big! So how does this relate to your life?

When you don’t have a vision for your life, your goals tend to be narrow in scope. When your goals are narrow in scope,  you tend to use tactics to be successful. Tactics are necessary and very helpful, but tactics need to be used in conjunction with an overall strategy that serves the vision that you want to have for your life — if you want a life that makes you happy about who you are, what you’re doing, and who you are with for the long term.

Take a look at this graphic, and you’ll start to see the relationship between tactics, strategy and vision. Let’s break it down:

Tactics – targeted plans and methods to get you what you want.

Strategy – is the framework and planning you use to make your vision a reality. It is made up of the tactics that will get you what you want in the long term.

Vision is the driving force behind your choice of strategy and tactics.

While each of the elements can incorporate a plan, it is the scope of the planning that will get you long term success.

Steven Covey wrote, “Begin with the end in mind.” Tony Robbins asks before he even starts a business, “What’s our exit strategy?” The question that both of these great men are talking about is the simple idea that when you’re sitting in your rocking chair at age 90, how do you want to feel about the life you led? What would have meant the most to you?

What would make you satisfied so that you smile that smile? What would you have to do to live your life with little or no regrets?

If you decide that you want to begin with the end in mind, you need to have a strategy to do that. One of the best strategies that I know of is to have an effective life map that takes you from where you are now to where you want to be. Here’s a graphic that gives you the frame work to set up a path for success:

Resources: The first stop on your map. Make sure these items are in place before you begin to gain efficiency and effectiveness.

  1. Vision – The goal for your life
  2. Plan – What is your plan to achieve it? What steps are you going to take?
  3. Motivation – What is your big why about this goal?
  4. Habits – These are the actions taken on a daily basis that will help you work your plan to success. What are the big rocks of this goal?
  5. Mindset – The attitudes and beliefs that will support you in your quest. Who must you have to be successful?
  6. Emotional Support – These are the people who believe in you, believe in your dream that will back you up and cheer you on to victory. Who are they and have you enlisted their help?
  7. Money Skills – How do you need to manage your budget to be successful in attaining your goal? Do you have to save? Do you have to target your purchases? Do you need to get investors?
  8. Time – This is when you plan to work on the activities that will bring you to goal completion. When is the best time to schedule your activities? For how long? How many times per week? t

 Obstacles: This is the second stop on your map. You have started to work your plan, and may have even hit a benchmark or two. What do you notice? Is there resistance? Identify any obstacles and modify your plan now for great success.          

           Obstacle Obliteration Plan – The OKAY Method

  1. Options: What are they? List them. If you are satisfied with the list, go directly to Step 3. If nothing comes to mind, or the options you came up with are not up to your standards go to Step 2.
    Kall for help: Help!!! There are resources to help you when you open yourself up to look for them. Remember who, what, where, when, why, and how from English class? Apply it here.
  2. Act: Take action on the How you learned in Step 2.
  3. Yes: As in yes you can be successful by evaluating and then acting on the feedback you get. If you haven’t achieved the result you wanted, immediately go back to Step 1 and repeat the steps until you are successful.

Consistency in Working Your Plan: This is the third stop on your map. Things seem to have a momentum, and it looks like your plan is working. Don’t get distracted or skip action step –sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we are doing the steps when we are actually doing them in our imagination!

Check – In: This is the fourth stop on your map. It feels like you are going to be in this spot forever.

  • How’s it going?
  • Do you have to modify? Yes, go back to Resources to modify plan.
  • If not, keep on keeping on.

 Five F’s: This is the fifth stop on your map. This is where you want to quit, because it is taking so damn long! You are impatient and just want to let it go. However, this is where you do your final digging deep, final push toward the end. Check yourself out with these:

            Fear – Are you afraid? Nothing is more important than how you feel when you have accomplished this goal. Do it anyway!

            Fatigue – Are you tired? How do you get energy and reignite your motivation?  Remember why you wanted this goal in the first place.

            False Beliefs – The way to breakdown beliefs is to test them! You can finish this! Test your thoughts and assumptions. Maybe something needs to change?

Fix and regroup – Test to see what works, and apply what you’ve learned.

Final push till end – Perseverance. It isn’t over until you have attained your goal!

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*** Speaking of Strategies. Quarter 1 of 2017 has gone. How are things going? If you think you might need a little help. I host a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools and strategies the Pros use to make this year something special. The keys are:

1) Clarity and why it is important.

2) Vision. Have a vision for your life that inspires you.

3) Goals. Have a goal map that takes you from where you are to where you want to be.

If you’re struggling in one or more areas of your life, and you feel like you may just need a little boost to get this year rolling again, this free webinar may help. You can sign up for it here.

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The number one tactic used by people everywhere is the S.M.A.R.T. goals framework. This method will help you develop goals that will give you short term gains in service of your long term strategy. Your goals need to have these elements to be efficient and effective:

S.M.A.R.T. Goal Framework
Specific – A specific goal is clear and not subject to interpretation. In other words, a six year old could understand it. For example, I will text my husband every day to tell him I love him so that he can feel close and important to me even when we are apart. This a very specific goal with a very clear outcome. How do I know I achieved it? By asking my husband. If, however, my goal was to “be more loving.” It really isn’t clear what that means. Do you get the difference?
• Measurable – Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress so that you know how close you are to achieving your goal. For example, a goal that states, “I will have a full right leg split by the end of six weeks” is concrete and clear. My measurement of outcome in this example is a full split.
• Actionable – Is this goal within your current skill set, or do you have to accomplish other goals before you can attain this one? For example, if I say I want my Ph.D. in Exercise Physiology this year, when I haven’t even completed high school, then I am setting myself up for failure — unless I can test out of all of my requirements, and start my program immediately! Is my goal within my current skill set?
Relevant – This is key! Choose goals that matter to you. A relevant goal answers yes to the following questions:
a. Is it worthwhile?
b. Is this the right time? (Financially, Stage of Life, Emotionally)
c. Does this goal fit with my overall vision of my life?
Time-bound – A goal must have a target date, in order for you to have sufficient leverage to accomplish it. A deadline that is too far into the future is easily put off. A goal that is set too close to the present may not only be unrealistic, it can discouraging. The target date you set must fit your schedule, the type of goal it is, and supports your overall plan.

If you are looking for some tactics that will help make 2017 an amazing year, join my email list and get my resource guide to do just that here: I want your tips!

So, the next time you are trying to decide what goal to go after, remember to go back to the vision you have for your life. Then decide whether you need a tactic or an overall strategy to get you there. My goal is to have you make the choice that will make you smile that smile when you are rockin out in your rocking chair!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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If You Fail to Plan, How Will It Happen?

My 11 year old daughter took the floor with all the poise of a seasoned professional. Focused and determined with grace and verve, she was ready to win. She had worked hard, all year long, and it was GO time. The only reason that she was about to step on the mats at all was because of a decision that she had made almost nine months earlier.

In July of last year, after she had earned and won third place in the Poomsae(forms) competition at the AAU Tae Kwon Do (TKD) National Championships in Fort Lauderdale, FL, she sat down with us to talk about her plans. She told us that she didn’t want to go to the Junior Olympics, as she wanted to switch styles of TKD. She wanted to compete at the World Championships in Poomsae when she turned twelve, and she needed to get a vertical side kick on both legs to have a shot at it. Note the picture to the right. She put that up on the wall of her training room when she started. Hmmm, that face looks awfully familiar.

It had been a long road to medal at a major championship, and now she wanted to start over. What could she be thinking? She had trained since she was four in the ITF style of TKD, so the change wasn’t going to be easy, and she had just achieved a major accomplishment. This change would take careful planning, practice, sacrifice, and victory was not assured. As her mom, I wasn’t convinced that this was the best course of action. We had been talking about changing for a couple of weeks, and while I was focused on the challenges that lay ahead, Sophia was focused on the glory that could be hers if she switched. 🙂

Have you ever had that happen to you? You have worked long and hard for a goal, and have had some success, only to decide that you needed to change and go in a new direction?

In the end, we decided to let her design her own path to greatness :), and as a result, changed gyms, approaches and training methods. Her father and I had learned, long ago, that the best way to achieve a big goal was to  reverse engineer it. That is, to “Begin with the end in mind.”

We researched what the best training methods were, and created a training program with her coach, on and off the mats, so that Sophia would peak when competition season started. Without a clear plan, intermediate benchmarks that allowed her to break down the big goal into smaller chunks, and consistently working her plan, she wouldn’t have been able to compete, nor as you can see from the picture, attain that elusive vertical side kick that is the hallmark of World Poomsae Champions.

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*** Speaking of big goals. Quarter 1 of 2017 has gone. How are things going? If you think you might need a little help. I host  a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools the Pros use to make this year something special. The keys are:

1) Clarity and why it is important.

2) Vision. Have a vision for your life that inspires you.

3) Goals. Have a goal map that takes you from where you are to where you want to be.

If you are struggling in one or more areas of your life and you feel like you may just need a little boost to get this year rolling again, this free webinar may help. You can sign up for it here.

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Let’s return to the competition. Sophia stood front and center, ready to perform, but something seemed off. That poise and confidence that was in her face a moment ago was replaced with confusion and doubt. Yet, the “Eye of the Jeffrey” came back quickly, and she performed a nearly flawless poomsae routine.

When the scores were tallied, she took second place! Nine months of intense training culminated in success! But Sophia didn’t view it that way. She had wanted to win, and felt that she was off her game despite recovering her focus, because she wasn’t told which form to perform ahead of time. She felt that little bit of confusion was the edge the other girl needed to win. Afterwards, it came to light that the rookie mistake was ours, because…

In all of our planning, it never occurred to us to plan for the competition protocol, itself. What would have happened if we had planned and prepared her for that? Darn rookies!

I took you on this journey to illustrate how an insurmountable big goal could be attained with planning, practice and execution.  Sophia isn’t special, even though we think she is. She has all the capability you and I possess to make our goals real, too. What she does have, that sometimes we don’t, is the belief that all things are possible with hard work, planning, and belief.

Her success formula, with the help of her mom, dad and coach was this:

  1. Reverse engineer the goal
  2. Break that goal into measurable benchmarks
  3. Work that plan consistently
  4. Modify it if necessary
  5. Celebrate hitting the benchmarks
  6. Enjoy the fact that you took a desire and made it real

That’s it! Easy peasy. So what big goal are you going after, and what is the first step you can take right now to make it happen? Do it! Dreams only come true when you take action!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Remember, you are so much more than who you think yourself to be

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Oh My Gosh – Mel Robbins Raw and Real!

I was at my networking meeting this morning, and gave my 2 minute infomercial. The substance of the talk was to introduce the idea that you can condition yourself to have your best days more often:

…A lot of us tend to use a small amount of our ability, and when we get challenged, stressed, or even when we have a bad day, oftentimes, our best selves don’t show up, precisely because, we haven’t condition that skill. We forget what we are going to say, we take short cuts, and we even lose our tempers. As a result, we can get disappointed and feel stuck. We can then believe that the explanations we have about why we can’t get what we want are all true and that they define our capabilities.

A coach can teach you how to have your best days more often, and help you to condition that skill so that you can have the focus, confidence and clarity you need to succeed…”

You see many of us don’t realize that a lot of successful characteristics people have are actually skills that everyone of us can develop. When I got home,  I logged on to Facebook and saw this interview Mel Robbins did with Impact Theory host Tim Bilieu.

All I can say is that she gave a beautiful explanation of how we can mess with ourselves! In her honest retelling of the struggles she has faced and overcome, she shares with the viewer how to condition a skill that gets you out of worry, anxiety, or procrastination and into actions that work. It is well worth the time investment. Don’t watch your favorite TV show until you watch this interview!

I hope that you enjoyed watching Mel, and take action on what you hear. When you do, it will be a game changer for you! If you want to learn more about Mel Robbins, her book,  or Impact theory, click the links below:

https://melrobbins.com/blog/

The Five Second Rule

http://impacttheory.com/

Thanks for reading, and until next time,

 

Remember your so much more than who you believe yourself to be!

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What Are You REALLY After?

What Gives? In this mini-primer on goal setting, I ask you some questions that help you get to the heart of  your choices, help you to cut the crap, and help you to choose and make the most important goals in your life a reality.

Don’t freak. It’s just three questions. You’ve got time for that, don’t you? The less resolute of you will have already moved on right about now. Those of you who stick around are in for a cool process.

Directions: Pick the answer that is most true for you for each question, and write it down. By the way, there are no right or wrong answers. This is all about you and what moves you the most. Ready?

Question 1: What is the most important goal to get done today?

A. I want to feel great when I finish it

B. I have to make money to take care of myself and my family

C. My boss, parents, friends et al are going to be disappointed if I don’t do it

D. People will be impressed when they hear I’ve done it

Question 2: What is your favorite superpower? You can only pick one. Remember pick your “favorite” and NOT the one you want most.

A. Perfect vision. I can see past, present and future.

B. Perfect hearing.  I can hear the thoughts of the world. I can hear the whispers even from miles away.

C. Perfect strength. I can withstand any force. I can move mountains. I can jump as high as I want.

D. Perfect speech. I can speak and understand any language.

Question 3: At the end of the day, what to do you want to feel most? (Be honest. This is truth not shopping 🙂 )

A. I am on top of the world. I accomplished everything that was important to me.

B. I am satisfied that I did my best.

C. I am so lucky to have the people I love around me.

D. My life is on track.

That’s it. You’ve got all you need. Now, let’s break this thing down. And no, I’m not going to give you the answers, and tell you who you are because of  your choices. I am going to write about the answers, and allow you to come to your own conclusions.

Question 1. It’s all about your intention. If you know the why of any goal, it not only helps you execute and focus better, it helps keep you motivated when things get tough. The most helpful tool here is to define what you intend in clear language so that you can connect to what drives your purpose.

If you answered…

  A. I want to feel great when I finish it. Your focus is on how you want to feel. “Great” means different things to different people. Define what great means to you, what activities would give you that feeling, and why you want to feel great.

B. I have to make money to take care of myself and my family. Your focus is on security. Define security (it’s not as obvious as you think), what other activities would give you that feeling, and why you want to feel secure.

C. My boss, parents, friends et al are going to be disappointed if I don’t do it. Your focus is on approval. Define approval, what other activities would give you that feeling, and why you want to feel approval.

D. People will be impressed when they hear I’ve done it.  Your focus is on significance. You want to feel important and admired. Define significance, what other activities would give you that feeling, and why you want it.

Question 2: What is your favorite superpower? It’s all about your favorite tool. When we pick our favorites we gravitate to what we like most, and that tends to be our own strengths. It feels good to use our strengths and use them when we go after what we want. This tool can makes you feel more powerful, confident and in control of yourself and your life.

If you answered…

A. Perfect vision. I can see past, present and future. You like to see it all, and you like to “see” how things are connected, and how they work. Mind maps, journaling, and flow charts are just some of the tools you can use. How can you use your visual superpower to your best advantage?

B. Perfect hearing.  I can hear the thoughts of the world. I can hear the whispers even from miles away. You like to hear it. Sounds are where it is at for you.  Podcasts, tele-seminars, voice memos, siri are some of the tools that you can use. How can you use your auditory superpower to your best advantage?

C. Perfect strength. I can withstand any force. I can move mountains. I can jump as high as I want. You like to be strong, hold your ground, but move with force when it’s required. Kinesthetic or movement is what works best. You like how it feels when you act, especially with conviction of movement. Use physical activities to help you think and make connections, various smart phone apps, standing desk, anything that allows you to incorporate your body while you work toward your goals are some of the things you can try. How do you use your strength superpower to your best advantage?

D. Perfect speech. I can speak and understand any language. It’s all about connection for you. You like to communicate and connect with others. Brainstorming, voice memos, interviewing are some of the tools you can use. How can you use your speech superpower to your best advantage?

Question 3: At the end of the day, what to do you want to feel most? This is all about your outcome or target. This is who you want to be, what you want to have, and how you want to contribute. What you want to feel most is the sum of what’s most important to you. When all is said, and done, how is it that you would have wanted to live? To get clarity, simply ask why.

If you answered…

A. I am on top of the world since I accomplished everything that is important to me. Why is this the most important feeling to achieve at this time? What goals would give me that feeling?

B. I am satisfied that I did my best. Why is this the most important feeling to achieve at this time? What goals would give me that feeling?

C. I am so lucky to have the people I love around me. Why is this the most important feeling to achieve at this time? What goals would give me that feeling?

D. My life is right on track.Why is this the most important feeling to achieve at this time? What goals would give me that feeling?

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***Speaking of goals,  I am hosting a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools the Pros use to make this year the one that changes everything for you.  If you applied each of the tools I share with you on this free webinar, you will be well on your way to making this year something special. You can sign up for it here.

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Magic Formula. When you have the right intention, the right tools, and the right target, you have a recipe that makes it more likely that you will live life in a way that brings you the most joy at this moment in time. Over time we all change. The goals we choose now will change along with us, which certainly makes life less boring! Try this experiment for the next 90 days:

  1. Choose goals that match your intentions.
  2. Choose goals that utilize your favorite tool.
  3. Choose goals that will lead you to the outcome you want most at the end of the day.

Download my easy-to-use daily worksheet that helps you keep your  Eyes on the Prize

If you want more information about who I am and what I do, head on over to my website at http://www.challengeyourvision.com for more information about coaching, private martial arts instruction, and my three quick start guides that take you from where you are now to where you want to be. Thanks for reading!!

Until next time,

Remember, you are so much more than who you believe yourself to be.

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Hey, You! Yeah, I’m Talking to You!

Not to come across as a crazy person, or anything, but it really does feel like this when I am practicing a new skill. Have you ever had a discussion with yourself about change? Recently, my latest chat went down like this:

New Me: Hey you, I’m talking to you. Pay attention.

Old Me: What? Can’t you see I’m busy running our life? I’ve got a schedule, and habits to perform. I don’t have the time, or the inclination to pay attention to your silly schemes. Do you have any idea what a pain in the a– it is to get pulled off task when you get one of your crazy ideas! Let’s just do what we know, okay?

NM: But I want to try this. I know it will be hard to change, but I will be happier if I take this on. Can’t you just play on the team, instead of trying to bully and dominate everyone just because you’ve been here the longest?

OM knows how to handle this like a Pro:  Yes. I can see that you really hope this is going to work. Whoever said I wasn’t a team player? Of course, I will support you, and even give you some time and resources to be successful. Tell me what you need.

NM believes that OM really is playing on the team now: That’s just great. Well, you know I need to practice. So if you can just give me 30 minutes a day, that would do it.

OM  silently chuckles: Yes, no problem. But if it doesn’t work out, then I get the 30 minutes back, right?

NM: Well, sure, that seems fair!

You’ve probably already figured it out that Old Me doesn’t have any intention of supporting change, and really, lies in wait to swoop in and get her resources back. She doesn’t like to share, and understandably, she has a very important job to do. Her job is to run Team Christine as efficiently as possible. From OM’s perspective, time and again, New Me wants to have “the talk about change.” The problem isn’t change, the problem is that NM isn’t serious. Like a child who can’t decide which is better, the ice cream sundae, or the chocolate covered Oreo pop, NM is anything but committed. OM has learned long ago, that NM tends to be a dabbler when it comes to change. NM jumps at the latest and greatest strategies and techniques, only to abandon them when the going gets tough, when she gets distracted, or when she gets scared. So why should OM give NM her resources? OM’s main gig is to automate for efficiency, and waste of any kind – time, money, effort — really pisses her off. So OM has learned to nod, smile, and play along when NM  “gets serious.”

Don’t get me wrong, OM loves Team Christine, and will do anything in her power to make Team Christine happy, healthy and hopping along on her way to her latest and greatest, but NM has to mean it. The problem is that New Me rarely does, because NM isn’t really clear about why she wants to change. It’s sort of like when she goes shopping: She wants to try on this, and not that, but then, that looks really good, too, so she wants to try that, as well.  NM rarely connects with how the new change is going to fill her up long term. You see, NM tends to be quite short sighted, and that limitation, alone, causes her to focus on the wrong things. NM isn’t a big picture operator like OM, and OM knows from experience that when NM focuses on the wrong things it doesn’t turn out well. OM thinks that NM should think things through a bit more before she commits precious resources to a change that tends to be short sighted.

***Speaking of change,  I just finished a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools the Pros use to make this year the one that changes everything for you.  If you applied each of the tools I share with you on this free webinar, you will be well on your way to making this year something special. You can sign up for it here.

Experiment. I’ve been trying this experiment for almost a week now, and I’m starting to feel like a crazy person, or how I think a crazy person must feel. I’m hyper-focused on my internal dialogue: the comments, the notices, the questions that keep popping up. Who knew my brain was filled with so much friggin radio chatter! Have you ever been outside and made a video of a family event only to discover that you can’t really hear what’s being said, because it’s so loud?! The birds, the breeze, the crickets, the mic picked up everything, and you didn’t even notice it, because your focus was on, well, the task at hand.

What do you focus on? How do you make change stick, and get Old Me to really commit time, energy and mental resources to the new change? It really is a simple answer:  The long term vision you have for your life. What do you want your life to be about, and why? See, what I’ve noticed, is that Old Me is incapable of play, because her vision is confined to the operational aspects of running Team Christine. An operator, by nature of her job description, cannot focus on vision. OM’s focus is to make sure she has everything she needs to run the show: mentally, physically, emotionally, and then she needs to automate it so she can make room in the system for any challenges that come up. Her prime directive is how do I maintain operational integrity to ensure the safety and well being of Team Christine?

If the REASON you want to change is powerful, compelling, and so important, you WILL allocate the necessary resources — focus, discipline, and energy  to make it happen.

New Me has got that dream gene going for her. She wants to explore, create, try and experience life on a whole different level, but she can get short sighted when she doesn’t connect all of those activities to her purpose – to her big why. When NM is short sighted, she lets her emotions run her, instead of her vision. The emotions of pain, pleasure, as well as, the incessant demands of others take over, and she gets caught up in, well, all the noise. Sound familiar?

One of the ways to cut the chatter is to be really clear about why you want it so bad. In this case, if New Me connects to the long term vision she has for her life, and the reasons why it is so so important to her to have that vision, Old Me gets that this isn’t a short-term play. OM feels the intention and purpose behind the request for change, and allocates the appropriate focus necessary to keep New Me on track. Her prime directive is how will this action be in alignment with what I want my life to be about? When that shift happens OM and NM are playing on the same team.

The reason I brought you into my internal dialogue was to illustrate that clarity of purpose creates congruence in your thoughts and in your actions. You no longer respond, so much, to the emotions of the moment, but rather, you choose to act based on a more important need — the need to create a life that fulfills you, excites you, and that makes you proud.

Hey. Hey you, I’m talking to you! Have a great day. 🙂 If you want more information about who I am and what I do, head on over to my website at http://www.challengeyourvision.com for more information about coaching, private martial arts instruction, and my three quick start guides that take you from where you are now to where you want to be. Thanks for reading!!

Until next time,

Remember, you are so much more than who you believe yourself to be.

 

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Do you use a checklist? Do you use one for your life?

Over this past weekend, my girl and I attended a “Girls in Aviation”** conference at the Disney Springs Resort in Orlando. It was over 20 years ago that I exchanged the excitement of flight instruction for diapers, midnight feedings, and the smiles of a beautiful baby girl. Now I was headed back to that world with my youngest to introduce her to the wonderful world of flight. Only she had no interest in becoming a commercial pilot and flight instructor like her mom. She b-lined it to coding, robotics and to the drone zone…of course.

Can you believe it? I couldn’t. I am TRYING to tell her how awesome flying is, and she meets my enthusiasm with a glazed  look, a roll of the eyes and indifference. She just doesn’t know, and that’s okay. I have to accept the fact that until she actually flies a plane, she won’t get it. I love this environment that breathes possibility, and is full of promise. But the coolest thing was to take a mental trip back to a time when I was someone else; and back to a time when  I envisioned a different future for myself. That whole “mind trip”  was well worth the two and half hour drive alone.

First of all, I am a huge fan of Patty Wagstaff – aerobatic pilot queen extraordinaire. She was the key note speaker at lunch, and she put the capital B into the phrase “Bad ass”. She grew up in Japan, learned how to fly in Alaska, and became one of the best aerobatic pilots in the world, AND she flies a really cool plane, too. When I was coming up the ranks, I wanted to be like her. However, the opportunities that existed for female pilots back in the early 1990’s were limited, to say the least, and to have a career with children required some major sacrifices — sacrifices that I wasn’t willing to make. So I gave up my dreams of being an aviatrix, and closed that chapter of my life.

Key Skill. Revisiting my pilot days, however, got me to remember that before every flight, I not only made sure my plane was ready to go, I made sure I was ready to go, as well. You can’t succeed if you operate on the back side of the power curve — this happens when the more power you add in the attempt to gain altitude, actually results in a decrease in altitude. The graphic on the right depicts the concept. Three major things make an aircraft fly: 1. Shape of the wing, 2. Attitude of the plane, and 3. Power.  Some would argue that only one thing will make an airplane fly…MONEY!

Anyway, there is a reason why I brought this up. Operating your life on the back side of the power curve leads to disappointment. You may be doing everything right, but if your attitude ( your mental orientation, the structure of your day, and the time when you act)is not in the optimal position, you will struggle. So what if you had a daily checklist that inspires you and reminds you to make sure you have all of your resources  aligned to ensure a safe, happy, and productive day? Would you be down for learning and using a tool that orients you each day?

********Speaking of orientation, I just finished a free webinar that teaches you the three key tools to use to create a year to remember. If you applied each of the tools I share with you on this webinar, you will be well on your way to making this year something special. You can sign up for it here.

The Point. Checklists not only exist as reminders of what to do, they exist as a way to focus our attention on what’s most important. I am wondering, do you use a checklist? Do you use one for your life? I researched the best practices among my favorite mindset and skill set experts: Tony Robbins, Brendan Burchard, Todd Hermann, and Hal Elrod to name a few.

Since we are all individuals, we may think a little differently. For example, we may use the same words, but they mean something different to each of us. The checklist to the left is blank on purpose. There is a primer in each area of focus to help you think and organize your thoughts, and, thereby, your day in a way that helps you feel your best, and helps you focus your attention on getting your best work done, while still enjoying the flow of your day.

Below are some best practices to help you think about what you want to go on your Pre-Day checklist:

Tony Robbins: Three to Thrive: Gratitude, Movement, and Incantations

Identify the three things you are really grateful for, feel it in your body, and connect to that feeling. Move for 30 to 45 minutes. As you move, talk about the outcomes you want to have happen in your day.

Brendan Bruchard: Productivity Planner:  List the top five action steps to take in each of the following areas: Projects, People and Priorities, and then take action on them.

Hal Elrod: Miracle Morning: Hal researched the best practices of highly successful people and created a formula that not only jump starts your day, but helps you to become happy and successful. (Gratitude, wisdom, movement, reading inspirational works, journaling, affirmations et al)

Todd Hermann: Avoid Context Switching. Focus on one thing that needs to get done in a certain time frame (in this case a day) and get it done.

I hope you enjoy using this checklist, and continue to enjoy the free content that I share on this blog. I do it, because I want to make life easier for everyone. We are so hard on ourselves, at times, and my mission is to help the people who really want to live better lives full of excitement and fulfillment do that faster, easier and in a better way.

Head on over to my website at http://www.challengeyourvision.com for more information about coaching, private martial arts instruction, and my three quick start guides that take you from where you are now to where you want to be.

Thanks for reading, and until next time,

 

 

 

Remember, you are so much more than who you believe yourself to be.

**If you want more information about Women in Aviation, and what they do,  you can click here.

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Baby, You’re Worth It

photo9Can you hear Fifth Harmony singing that line? There is something deep and true in the way they sing it. We are alive at this point in time! This is the most amazing time in history, and, yes, we are created from star material, but, sometimes, we just don’t feel like it.

Do you know what I mean? You know you’re here for a reason, but somehow, life gets in the way and you get caught up in the drama of it all. You lose focus, and you get off track. That’s true, right? You lose focus, you get off track, and wonder what happened? What’s also true is that you do get back into the groove, you do get back on track, and you do start moving forward again.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just short circuit the process, and get back to it faster?

Imagine. Yes, let’s pretend that you’ve chartered a private jet to a place that you’ve always dreamed about. You get settled into  your sleek, beige leather seat, and look out the window with all the anticipation of someone who has arrived.

You know you’ve worked hard. You’ve earned this. No, you deserve this. A smile that satisfies passes your lips, as you sip the champagne that has just been served to you by your very own steward. “Yes, I will have another. Thank you.” You sigh that sigh, and continue your reverie of admiration, satisfaction, and contentment. It does feel, oh, so good to be you in this moment.

You’ve made it to the top. You’ve accomplished every goal, and have overcome every obstacle. There is nothing left for you to do, but to bask in your glory, the glory that is you.

Then the alarm goes off, and you reach for the snooze button. Just five more minutes can get you back to that place where you were just about to take off to enjoy your dream destination all caused by you.

The alarm goes off again. Now it’s time to get back to reality. The routine and pace of a life that you agreed to live. Not very many of us live in a world, in which, we have a private jet at our beck and call. Nor do many of us live in a world that every obstacle has been eliminated. In fact, I don’t know of anyone who lives in a world without problems, challenges or obstacles. Do you?

We all have problems. We just tend to believe that if you have a jet at your disposal, we want your kind of problem. We believe that if we had a bunch of money, the problems would be easier to manage. Would they really be easier? And if we want to check out of our lives, and ditch it all to become expats surfing in Bali every day, well, we could. The problem with this kind of imagining isn’t how wonderful it makes us feel. The problem is pretending that the struggles of people with means, or the people down the street are preferable to our own.

It’s Bull. If I were Tony Robbins, I could drop a multiple stream of F-bombs right now to shock and shake you out of your explanation about why life is better when you have a gazillion dollars, or if you had Laura’s problems, or Luke’s struggles. Life may be easier in some respects, but human beings are ingenious at f-ing up their own happiness. You don’t know what another person’s struggles are. You don’t know what they are experiencing, nor can you imagine it. So when you look at their problems, or lack there of, you think they have it BETTER than you. They don’t. They have it DIFFERENT than you.

Different isn’t Better. Different is just that. We forget that our neighbor with the private jet who vacations four times a year has problems that we cannot even begin to understand. Just recently, a famous author with a beautiful family found out he was dying from cancer. He spent Christmas in a hospital bed. If you didn’t know about his private struggle, you would think he had it all: Money, lifestyle, amazing friends, family, a great relationship et al. You would, maybe, envy him, and think, “Geez, I would love to have his life!!”  Would you if you knew the whole story? Would you really?

One of the most hurtful things we do is make assumptions — assumptions about other people, but more importantly, assumptions about who we are, and what we are capable of achieving. So what to do? It comes down to a simple choice. Every person we talk to is smart, capable, creative and talented. (Oh yes, they are. We have just been conditioned to go through our checklist of success to see if they measure up. Who said our checklist is THE checklist of smart, capable, creative and talented? And if we are judging others in that way, how are we judging ourselves?)

Do you want to become a Snoozer or do you want to become a Doer?

Have you ever noticed how much free time Snoozers have? They can spend hours watching their favorite shows over and over again, or talk incessantly about how this or that doesn’t work. These Snoozers like to talk, they like to watch, and they even like to criticize others, at times, but Snoozers rarely take action on making their lives filled with excitement and pride. They live life in the margins, because that is where they feel comfortable.

Snoozers vs. Doers. Do you think someone who earned enough money to own a private jet is a Snoozer in disguise? Do you think he or she can reenact every scene from The Flash down to the timing? Nooo. The Snoozers can kick his ass when it comes to pop trivia, but the Doers can kick the Snoozers’ collective asses when it comes to living a life of fulfillment and contribution.

The difference is focus. I can tell you right now that people who live a life that excites them, and that makes them proud don’t hit the snooze button. When the sky is awake, they are awake because they HAVE to play. Feel the power of that? Even when the sky is asleep, they still want to play, because life is just that good. They got Fifth Harmony on replay, as they are making it possible for their dreams to happen TODAY.

Don’t misunderstand. Doers can get tired. Doers can fail, and sometimes, fail badly in public. They can fail a lot, but here’s the difference — failure doesn’t faze them, anymore. They have learned that failure spurs them on to find a different way — a way that works.

So who do you want to be when you grow up? A Doer who falls flat on his or her face, but keeps getting up to live a life that is meaningful, and that is full of fulfillment and contribution? Or a Snoozer who wants that extra 5 minutes of day dreaming, because reality doesn’t measure up? The choice is yours.

Whew! I was fired up this morning, and my hope is that I got some of you inspired to take some action, because it is in  action that you find the happiness you seek.

If you have any questions, comments, or need some help with taking action on your ideas, you can head over to my website at www.challengeyourvision.com for more information.

Until next time,

Christine

 

 

 

 

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Remember, you are so much more than who you believe yourself to be.

 

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